Disclaimer: I donít own VoyagerÖblah blah blah, here is some short bread.
It was just a little falter during a moment when my defenses werenít as high as they usually were. A moment in time that wouldnít have happened if I had been preoccupied with something else, such as the Borg for instance.
Strange how times of fun and games can make you forget protocol and rules. How laughter can make all the tension just melt away. How an old fear suddenly becomes a new hope.
The decision of what to do next is something I donít want to deal with, or rather donít know how to deal with. Part of me is calmly saying: "You canít do this. It isnít right. There are rules you must follow." Another part of me is screaming: "Damn it Kathryn, Youíre allowed to have this! No one expects you to turn away from love. Especially not sixty thousand light years from home!"
I see the questions in his eyes. He is wondering what will happen next. Will I turn away as I have always done, or will I finally give in? I know heíll understand either way. My Maquis warrior. My strength.
I trace his jaw line softly with my fingers. We have been through so much. So much of it I could not have made it through with out him there every step of the way. I donít think he comprehends that really. I donít think I have ever told him.
There is too much here to lose. Iím so scared of walking out of this room, and never feeling the same way again. We have built more here than trust and respect. We have built friendship, and maybe even more importantly, we have built love.
So much can happen in the span of a minute. One can tear down walls that took a life time to build, conquer fears that refused to back down, and yes, one can even realize that resistance is futile.
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